Sorry I’ve been unavailable… I’ve been busy being available to God 🙂

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It’s been a hot minute. Or 2… Really, about 47… but. Let’s get it to it.

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I’ve spent the last 47 days in true social isolation. Being the introvert that I am, it honestly hasn’t been as difficult as I initially anticipated. I have to admit, I’ve felt guilty on many occasions that my “struggle” in this season hasn’t been the need for human interaction and social contact… I feel for people who need to be around people all the time. I live with one – Ryan thrives in social environments and often “recharges” by being around people. As an INFJ, I’m the complete opposite personality type.

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I thrive in isolation… I know… It’s super weird. But, the world can be a bit too peopley sometimes, and it’s not the “people” that make it a challenge, it’s the insane level of awareness I have to all of these people, and the need to really deeply connect when I am with people.

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Being in self-isolation has been like being in “my own little world” as my dad called it when I was a little kid. I’ve been more productive than I ever imagined possible. Our house has never been cleaner, I’ve cooked more meals for Ryan in these last 2 months than I have in our entire marriage combined. I have a 99% in my doctoral Group Counseling course, and I just finish flipping 80+ residential courses into a digital format in less than 3 weeks (with the help of my team, of course), only to now be prepping 47 more courses for the online Summer semester.

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Needless to say, I am very busy, but I have NEVER been more grateful to have “something to do”. It’s impossible to be bored when my role has nearly triple in responsibilities… And ya’ll, I am so grateful. The majority of people around me are unable to “work from home”, and I know way too many people have been temporarily laid off due to Covid 19… My heart breaks for you. Reading stories day in and day out and hearing of how very real the challenges of not being able to work has given me a whole new perspective on “workload” and “being busy”.

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I’ve never been a punch the clock kind of person. I truly believe that any job, role, or placement is an opportunity for ministry, and my position in the CCC online department is 1000% my ministry. I love my students more than just about anything, and I value the opportunity to be able to serve them day in and day out. I am so grateful that in a time where we all feel a little out of control, there are so many people who are choosing to enroll in courses that teach them the truths of the Bible and how to love and serve people the way that Jesus did.

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I have never been less “out of my head” than in these last several weeks. Without the need to constantly “perform” in social settings… I can literally just do what I’m called to do. Being off the socials for the better part of these 47 days, I’ve had so much time and room for what matters in my life right now, and that is serving others through online education.

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At the beginning of this year, I committed to being completely “available” to God and His calling in my life. I’ve always had the intention of being available to God, but I usually spread myself way to thin, making myself available to everything else. This often causes a lot of distractions to come between His plans and how available I am to Him.

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I never imagined it would take a global pandemic and worldwide shut down for me to really understand what it means for me to be completely available to God. I understand that this “season” is not a pleasant one. It has been absolutely gut-wrenching and life-altering in some very traumatic ways for many people. My prayers every morning and evening begin with a blessing for those who have been most negatively affected by Covid 19, and I end those prayers with a heart full of gratitude that God would use my availability at this time.

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I know a lot of us made a commitment at the beginning of this year to do “something”… And I encourage you now more than ever to revisit that promise. Whether it’s a promise to yourself, to God, your family, or community. Lean back into what God placed on your heart at the beginning of this year. Yes, our world is upside down right now, but what can God use you for at this time? Maybe it’s something very specific for your family. Maybe this is a period of personal growth with God for the next season. Maybe it’s serving very real and tangible needs in your community right now. Re-visit all of that motivation you had on January 1st, 2nd, and 3rd… Re-evaluate your promise, your goals, your commitment, and ask God how He can use you right now.

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How can you be: a v a i l a b l e ?

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and I’d be slacking if I didn’t say this: If you feel God pulling you to use some of this “extra time” to learn more about Him… I’ve got a class for you, and it begins on Monday…

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That’s all for now.

– the Wife