According to Facebook, today is Friends Day (not to be confused with friendship day which is in July)! It’s kind of funny the timing of this blogpost and today being Friends Day. A month ago, when I was planning blog themes and dates, I decided today would be a day to shine a light on my AMAZING friends. Little did I know that I’d be shining a light on actual Friends Day!
So, a few years ago Facebook decided to create Friends Day early in February as a way to celebrate friendships and reminisce on memories with our friends. They create cute little videos highlighting who they believe to be your closest friends. I’m sure there’s an algorithm they use, which is weird on so many levels because can friendship really be understood by an algorithm???
I’m not sure… (mainly because I don’t really know what an algorithm is…) but, I know what makes good friends, and it’s probably because I have some REALLY great ones. Honestly, good friends are like gold. They’re super rare, they are all unique, and they are so very precious!
People often consider this idea: lots of casual friends or a few very close friends. Even though my last blog post discussed my issue with “less is more” and how I always feel a need to have all the things… when it comes to friends, I totally believe in less is more.
Like basically all girls, growing up as a human girl was hard. Making friends was easy, but keeping them was not. Girls are super weird. Girls are super emotional. And girls are often difficult to be friends with. As a former girl (now woman), I can confidently state these things as facts. Girls. Are. Hard. To. Be. Friends. With.
But women… that’s a different story. Making friends in college was way easier than high school, and finding life long friends postgrad is way easier than college.
I think it all boils down to this – it’s easier to be friends with women than girls. And, since this is a faith-based blog, I have to admit, as a Christian woman, it’s way easier find other Christian women friends in worship experiences and ministry than outside of it.
Let me explain.
God has blessed me with phenomenal relationships, like truly incredible, soul enriching, life altering, friendships. I’m not going to share about each and every friendship in this post, but it’s not because I don’t value them all. I absolutely do. And my fear in trying to celebrate my girl gang is that I would leave someone out or make someone feel bad, but then I think about my friends and remember that we don’t operate like that.
So, instead of running through my gal pals one by one, I want to talk about 2 groups of highly influential women in my life, and I call them that because they highly influence me and the decisions I make in my life.
My “Toronto Friends” are truly an answer to prayers. I could also call them my “Elevation Girls” because I met every single one of them at church. It’s funny, I never thought church was a place to make friends, but pretty much all of my friends in Canada are from church. And it’s amazing. We naturally have so much in common (even the fact that we’re blonde which is both hilarious and weird). But we vibe on a different level, a spiritual level. We talk about everything from eyelash extensions to spiritual warfare. We have been there for each other through childbirth, hospitalizations, major injuries, promotions, weddings, successes, and failures. In just 2 short years, our little group has grown like an unending puzzle. It’s really amazing.
Like, only God could have orchestrated such a solid group of friendships where jealousy has never existed, selfish intentions have no place, and positive affirmations and confidence boosting conversations are the norm.
Also. Best fact ever. We all prayed for this.
Before our friendships were formed into this fabulous network of Christian women who unconditionally support one another, we each had prayed for years to be a part of something like this. We all prayed for friends like what we’ve found, and we all made choices to desperate ourselves from relationships that weren’t like these.
I genuinely value deep conversation. However, I don’t think I’m a serious person. I love to laugh. I love to make jokes. And I love just having easy, effortless conversations about positive things. I also thoroughly enjoy being around people who allow me to be vulnerable, who encourage authenticity and really pull out the best parts of me. I love that each one of these women value these parts of conversation too.
I was recently on a mini vacation, and a few of my girlfriends and I ended up on a beach together. We discussed what most girls on think about when sitting in a swimsuit while going through body changes and not necessarily being at their thinnest. Yep. We talked about that. And it was as though it was the most normal thing we could possibly talk about. Instead of sitting in our literal insecurities, we aired out our feelings about our bodies. And we were totally transparent and super vulnerable, yes. While sitting in our swimsuits. And it was amazing. We were all so supportive of each other and super realistic in our goals, and just really hyped each other up, but not in like a “girl you’re so hot” kind of way. It was more of a “woman, you are gold” kind of way. It was beautiful, and I truly believe we left that day feeling empowered and beautiful.
Another cool scenario with this group was a recent Bible study we did a few Saturdays ago. We were studying about meaningful friendships from a study by Holly Furtick, and one of the coolest moments of that day will forever be in my mind. We had a moment when we were talking about the lesson and we started answers questions, one being about if we had a good friend that led us in the right direction or something along those lines. We all smiled and got a little emotional. We didn’t have just 1 friend like that. We were sitting in a room of about 8 women, God-fearing, Christ-worshipping women, who empower one another, encourage one another, and always have the best interest of one another in every scenario. Honestly, I sat there and happy cried on the inside (like in my heart, I was bawling) because I was busting thinking THANK YOU GOD for allowing me to be a part of this.
Shifting gears to a different group of friends, I get that same feeling of THANK YOU GOD, and it’s kind of for the same thing but our relationship is so different than the first group mentioned. These girls are my “Mission Girls” or my “Nica Fam” (Nicaragua). And honestly, we met through pageants, but we connected on a spiritual level through ministry. So I know I said I met these all these amazing friends at church or on the mission field, and even though, I met these girls at a pageant in North Carolina, I feel like I didn’t truly know them until we were on the mission field together.
Again, a God ordained friendship circle that has blessed my life time and time again. Proof, evidence rather, that God gives you exactly what you need, not exactly when you ask for it, but exactly when you need it.
These two girls, man, I don’t even know how to describe our friendship. I just simply know that my life has been forever changed for the better by knowing them, and that is truly the greatest understatement of our relationship. Like the other group, we get in our fair share of celebrity gossip, make up tips, and fashion secrets. But there is an overwhelming balance of real talks within our group. It’s insane, just insane, how intertwined God is into our friendship group. It’s magnificent.
Never did I ever dream of having not one but two groups of truly passionate Christian women who I get to call “close friends”. Remember, I always said that I believed in less is more with friends, and here God has given me an abundance of strong relationships with close friends. I am often at a loss when I sit and think of these beautiful, thriving relationships. These women are all their best self today. They are all living out the best versions of who they are meant to be. It’s a positive force that I need to be around. It’s vibes that I have to have in my life. It’s inspiration that I absolutely require to move forward. And it’s all right there in front of me. A huge blessing and answer to prayer.
The thing about good friends is that it takes a good friend to make a good friend. Balance in friendships is essential to establishing and growing truly remarkable friendships. And here’s the thing, friendships would be easy if only one person went through something hard at a time, but real life doesn’t take turns. Real life means, sometimes, stuff is super real for all of us, and tragedy strikes in all of our lives in different ways at the same time. And in those moments where you need your friends to be there for you, you find yourselves needing to be there for them. In a strong and secure, selfless friendship, it’s easy. It’s easy to not mix up prioritizing your needs with theirs. It’s easy to know the difference in them being selfish and just actually needing your support. It’s easy to have a 5 minutes quick chat and you both leave feeling lifted up and encouraged. When a good friend befriends another good friend, things don’t get all messy, and when God’s in the mix, it’s like a unicorn meets a fairy princess meets a rainbow and all the magical things of your childhood fantasies come true, and you have that best friend you’ve always dreamed of.
My family means the world to me. They are everything. But my friends, they are the family I didn’t realize existed until God placed them right there in my life to show me that miracles are real, He answers prayers, and faith is an essential part of all meaningful relationships.
Companionship is essential to survival.
This is fact. As a psychology buff, I can wholeheartedly say, it is my professional and personal opinion that meaningful relationships make a person thrive, and to lack relationships of true substance is one of life’s greatest tragedies. We spend so much time trying to be our best self, and I can honestly report that after 27 years, I am only my best self when my friends are in my life. I am so grateful for the women God has chosen to surround me, and I celebrate each and everyone of you today and everyday!
– the Wife