Hey friends,

I’m still going through my process of being under construction, and in the past couple of weeks, my eyes have been opened, closed, blinded, opened again, shielded, guided, all of the above. It’s honestly indescribable what will happen when you give your life and your massive problems to God and say “GO.”

I thought I was ready. I thought I was taking steps out in faith, and I thought I could handle what was coming my way…

This process started for me without me realizing it. I came into 2018 with massive goals and plans. Reachable, yes… but massive, also yes. I’m a go-getter, and I was ready to go get work done. I came into the year unprepared for what 2018 would throw back in my face, and let’s just call it a few setbacks for now. Nonetheless, I gave my life to Christ years ago, but I gave Him my “whole deal” about a month ago and was like “Here… GO… You said you can work with broken, well, here are my pieces. I prayed expectantly, knowing that He would ‘fix it’.” But, I forgot that God doesn’t do ALL the work… He requires submission and effort on our end too.

Anyways, on this journey, I’m learning a lot about fear. I’m learning about forgiveness. I’m learning about past failures. I’m facing my demons, and I’m overcoming a whole lot of blah (insert whatever word seems appropriate for you but keep it Christian lol) 

What I’m learning, that I feel comfortable sharing with you right now, is that at the end of the day… it doesn’t matter who loves you. Except you. You can have a million admirers. You can be insta famous and be adored by everyone who has ever set eyes on you, but if you don’t love yourself, then you are nothing. You have nothing.

Disagree?? I personally am at such a raw and transparent point in this moment, that I do not care if you agree with me. Just keep reading…

If you can’t love yourself, then you have nothing. Period. Bottom line. Christ’s love teaches us to love ourselves. He walked this earth loving others and teaching others to love themselves back. My entire life, I have struggled to love myself. Some days, I like me, and other days, (most days) I am the meanest person to … myself.

So, on this journey of being rebuilt and restored, I am learning how to love myself. I’m learning to repel the need for “likes”. It’s hard. I’m a 26-year-old woman, and I care about how many likes I get on a post. Yes, that’s a true confession. Go ahead, judge me.

BUT. I know those likes do not hold my worth. They do not define my value. When I place myself in God’s grace and forgiveness, love and understanding, I am worthy of love. Through His eyes, I am worthy enough to love myself, and I choose to love me. I love ya’ll too, but I also love me because I was designed to be able to give myself the love I deserve, and so were you.

Still on break, but had a mini-breakthrough and wanted to share. All I have (left) to say is that life gets real, guys… and when it does. You better be prepared. You better have an army of friends willing to hold you up and love you no matter what. Thank God, I have an army. I love you guys, and I hope you love you guys too.

– the Wife

and sometimes, the soldiers in your army are literally holding you up 🙂