She Laughs Without Fear of The Future

She laughs without fear of the future…

Ever since my return from NICA, I’ve been faced with bouts of anxiety, lots of emotional moments, and times where I just didn’t understand what was happening. In those moments, I was afraid and scared. I realized that I was walking in fear not faith, so I reached out to the most faith-filled people I knew and asked for their help and guidance. My parents, my husband, and my sweet friends have helped me to find my footing again. I am proud to say that I can laugh without fear of the future again because I know my future is in God’s hands. 2018 is my year, correction… it’s His year. I give it to Him, and I beg of Him to use me, mold me, break me (when necessary), and show me how to love like Christ. I have always had a huge desire to serve God in a really weird and unique way, and I believe He is preparing me for that weird and unique calling.

A lot of my photos are “candid-not-candid”, but I know exactly what I was thinking when Satta took this one. I was genuinely laughing at the enemy for he has tried to steal my joy ever since I was a little girl. He has never made this life as a Christian easy, and in that moment, it made me laugh because as he attacks with everything he has, my God is so much bigger, and the joy and contentment He has to offer supersedes any fear or shame the Devil holds against me.

In this moment, I was looking out at the ocean imaging God washing away every ugly thing I’ve ever said, washing away all the awful things I’ve ever thought or done and restoring me back to the way He created me to be.

Being back has been a struggle. This may be the most difficult struggle post-Missions trip I’ve ever faced, but I’m confident it’s because I am coming back with a strength I’ve never experienced before. My support system is bomb. Straight up. They are bomb. They always know when to step up or go find me when I’ve disappeared. They are checking in constantly, and it’s not because I’m weak and require validation. It’s because I’m strong, and I require a group of even stronger individuals to guide me through this incredible growing period in my life.

Thank you to everyone who joined us in Nicaragua. There is a special crown waiting for you in Heaven. I believe with every being in my heart that God blesses those who care for His little children. You are in that category.

Thank you to everyone on staff at World Missions Outreach. I will never be able to thank you enough for answering God’s calling so many years ago. You are all the family I never expected to have, and I adore each and every one of you. God has the most beautiful things planned for your lives.

Thank you to the friends and family who sent down special gifts for the kids and teachers and pastors in Nicaragua. These might seem trivial at times, but they truly make a difference. It says that they are noticed. It says that they are cared for. And it says that they are worthy. Thank you for blessing others with the things God has used to bless you.

And to my support system. Where do I even begin…. thank you will never be enough, and I know I will continue to thank you for days, months, and years to come. In my heart, I know that I can do this solely relying on God, but I believe you are all angels that He is using to remind me of His infinite grace and goodness. Thank you for your existence, for your presence in my life, and for always noticing the moments where you can be used by God.

I’m having so many feelings and emotions as I type this, and I know I’m straying from the usual foodie and wifey posts. I made a commitment to y’all a few weeks ago that I was giving this blog back to God, and ever since then, my fingers can’t stop typing about the ways He is working in my life. I know He’s working in yours too or you wouldn’t be reading this. Please share your “God encounters” in the comments or send me an email through my Instagram page. I have a special contact link there. You are all beautiful creations meant for beautiful moments. I can’t wait to see those moments happen for you.

– the Wife

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