Family/Relationships

Marriage: United We Conquer, Divided We Fall

May I interrupt your 25 Days of Christmas Compassion with a post on marriage? We’ve been talking about compassion moments for 5 days now, and I just feel like the one person who we should show the most compassion to is our spouse. I’m blessed beyond measure with a compassionate spouse, and I blogged about him earlier this week. Today, we need to shift gears though and talk a little bit about what happens when compassion is at the core of your marriage.

Earlier today, I was reading through 1 & 2 Kings, and I was learning about the dividing of the two kingdoms (Northern and Southern). As I studied this, I found that when a kingdom or country or relationship splits, it becomes weaker. And often times, this can be used to talk about churches and how it’s best to stick together and remain a strong unit, but since I blog about marriage, I naturally began applying this thought to my marriage.

Military and patriotic sayings about the American people often reference the idea that United we conquer, Divided we fall. I’ve only ever read this with my country in mind, but this can apply to your marriage the same.

We already know that marriage involves 2 people becoming 1 unit, and as beautiful and wonderful as that sounds, the first few years of marriage are spent trying to figure out how to actually become one. It doesn’t just happen at the marriage alter during the wedding ceremony. That’s when you publically commit yourself to one another and agree to become one unit, but in that moment, it’s ceremonial and verbal. It’s the next couple of years where you begin to actually put into practice the idea of becoming one. And ya’ll… it’s hard.

Over the last 3 years, I’ve watched my marriage grow continuously, through really fantastic awesome times and some pretty tough times too. Of course, insta only shows the highlights… but that’s because we don’t air out our dirty laundry on social media. (no judgment if you do, that’s just not us) The growing process of becoming one is difficult to describe because, on the one hand, it’s absolutely marvelous. Honestly, it’s one of the most beautiful things to become one unit with my husband. On the other hand, becoming one involves growing pains. Some of these pains involve compromise, dying to yourself, accepting a new life, and unconditionally loving someone no matter what.

Recently, I’ve learned that being one is the only way to conquer a battle. When we are divided in our marriages, we are fighting battles as half a unit. We’re weak. We get tired quickly, and we lack the motivation and support necessary to win. But, when we are united in our marriages, we can 100% overcome any obstacle that comes our way, together as one unit.

2017 was a hard year for us, not the hardest, but it was full of growth opportunities. The cool thing now is being able to look back over this year and see the fruits of our labor. Surprise… marriage involves labor. It’s hard work, but it’s so incredibly worth the work you put into your relationship. We are ending 2017 on such a high note. We’re both in a really good place individually, and that is helping us to be in a really good place as a couple. Being united in our marriage involves two people plus God, and I believe that He will always honor hard work and dedication. It may take time to see it all unfold, but never forget that He’s got you.

Wishing you all a wonderful Wednesday afternoon. Remember, united we conquer, and divided we fall. If you’ve fallen off the wagon this week or month, it’s okay. Get back up, and join your teammate. My prayer for all of you married couples out there is that 2018 can be your year (unless you owned 2017… then let us other couples have 2018… haha jk!!!). I want the absolute best for you, and I want you to use the last couple of weeks in 2017 to set yourself up for a successful new year. Enjoy the holidays, and let loose a little bit! No need to take yourself (or your spouse) too seriously this season.

– the Wife

Here’s a little recap of our 2017 highlights together<3

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