No matter what state your marriage is in, these tips are relevant. They can even help the most perfect couples better their marriage… Because there are “perfect marriages” right? Not exactly. Everyone’s marriage is different. Sure, there may be similar components among couples and marriages, but when it comes down to it, everyone’s marriage experience is different. AND no one’s marriage is perfect.
This doesn’t mean that everyone’s marriage is bad or rough or in serious trouble. It just means that marriage isn’t perfect. It’s a working relationship between two people, a relationship that is ever-changing and evolving. While marriage is a beautiful and wonderful part of life, it is also a very challenging, working relationship. It’s hard work, and it’s so worth it!
Here are my first 5 tips to having a happy marriage.
1. Talk to each other.
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a million times. “Good communication is the key to a healthy relationship.” Yeah, yeah, yeah… we’ve heard that one… next! NO!!!!! Stay right here! This is serious. Talk to each other, and I mean really talk to each other. Don’t stop at, “How was your day?” or “You look nice, today.” Go further than the basic small talk that you have with everyone else in your life, and talk to them about their life, their interests, what’s going on in their pretty little head, and about their goals and passions in life.
2. Keep dating.
It’s easy to forget to date when you already eat every meal together and spend every waking moment together.It’s also easy to forget to date when you both are working so hard in your careers and just want to relax at the end of your very long and busy day. The best marriage advice that I received pre-wedding was to never stop dating. Have a weekly date night, get dressed up, and charm each other. It’s important to have those dinners or outings that are different from the norm.
This is another one you’ve heard before. It’s just one word, but it’s the one word than can make or break your marriage. Trust is a two way street. You have to earn trust and give trust in order to have a successful marriage.
Without trust, it can be nearly impossible to “make a relationship work“. (I hate that phrase, by the way…)
In marriage, you aren’t just “making the relationship work,” you are growing your relationships into a beautiful family and raising the next generation.
4. Love languages.
You may not be too familiar with the idea of love languages, but I have seen the benefit of discovering love languages in many marriages. The theory of love languages is that we all give love and receive love differently. However, we usually have a preference in one of the love languages. Many spouses have different love languages. If you are loving with your preference (which is different than your spouse’s preference), then you may need to switch things up to really make them feel loved. Check out the whole theory by clicking the link beside #4.
5. Remember your vows.
My husband and I are big babies when we get sick. It’s like we turn into little 2 year olds and forget how to do life. We usually end up joking about “in sickness and in health…” and that leads to the healthy spouse putting in extra effort around the house.
I wonder, though, how beneficial it would be if spouses truly considered their marriage vows when the times get tough. In traditional vows, you commit to each other for the rest of your lives, even when things seem impossible. It’s easy to be mad at each other, but as long as you remember your vows, you can keep the promises that you have made to one another, promises to love unconditionally and to commit for life.