Real Talks

Becoming a SURVIVOR

Victim: a person who has suffered as a result of someone else’s choices.

Survivor: a person who has overcome the sufferings of someone else’s choices.

Becoming a SURVIVOR is a delicate process. It’s a choice that only you can make. It is a decision apart from other people’s choices. It is not a “Yes” or “No” answer to the question, “Are you okay?”

If you have ever been a victim, this blogpost might appeal to you. You can be a victim of fraud, lies, abuse, hate, assault, etc. Sometimes being a victim is a result of choices you have made, but a lot of times, being a victim is a result of the choices that other people make. At the end of the day, most victims have asked themselves, “Is it my fault?”

The first step to becoming a SURVIVOR is moving beyond that question. That is an irrelevant question when you are healing from whatever experience has caused you to be a  victim. Check out this hypothetical scenario: A girl gets drunk at a bar with a guy whom she just met. He ends up being bad news, takes her home, she doesn’t consent, and you can guess what happens. 

She is now a victim. Was it her fault? Was it his fault? Those are the questions that people will ask. Those are the questions that keep her up at night.

Even though her choices may have put her in that position, his choices turned the scenario into her worst nightmare. As long as she dwells on who’s fault it was, she will not transition into a SURVIVOR. Becoming a SURVIVOR means accepting what has happened, even what you don’t approve of it or want it to be true – accepting that it is just a fact is a good first step.

Next step, try choosing to separate yourself from the event that made you a victim. As a victim, you let your situation define you. It becomes you. You are the person that “this” happened to. Becoming a SURVIVOR means to go beyond what you have experienced and to keep living and experiencing new things. Redefine yourself from a victim to a SURVIVOR.

Words from a SURVIVOR: “I am not what has happened to me. I did not ask for it. I did not choose for that to happen. I am more than what I have experienced. I accept that it happened, but it does not define me. I am strong, and I am here. I am a SURVIVOR.”

Becoming a SURVIVOR is a different experience for everyone, but there are 2 common factors that all SURVIVORS share. 1 – accepting what has happened. 2 – redefining themselves.

If you are working towards becoming a SURVIVOR, reach out for help in the right places. Look for a counselor who specializes in the experience that you have had. Contact them, and tell them that you are ready to stop being a victim.

-L

P.S. If you are going through this transition or have struggled to finally break free and become a SURVIVOR, check out this awesome SURVIVOR bracelet ❤

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